I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom...

Now that I'm at the end of my eighth month of pregnancy, the question I'm getting most often now is, "Are you still working?"

And I want to answer, "Why wouldn't I still be working?" But I don't. I just say, "Yes."

Some people leave it at that, but some, mostly older people (although a few folks my age have asked as well), follow up with, "When are you going to quit working?" Then they act all appalled when I tell them that I plan on working up until I give birth. I just find it a waste to stop working before the baby is born. I only get so much leave time. I would rather spend that time with the baby, not just sitting around waiting for the event to happen.

Now here is where there is even more of a shift. When I explain this to the younger people, they seem to understand and leave it at that. The older people go on. They ask this more as an appalled statement than an actual question, "You're going back to work?!"

I handle it pretty well, explaining that I like work and my mother is helping us with day care. Plus, we really can't afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom. Not that I really want to be a stay-at-home mom. That's not my cuppa tea. Now, my husband, on the other hand, would love to be a stay-at-home dad. Imagine what the old people would say to that! But that's another blog entry for another day.

Anyhow, it's my choice. It's what most women do. That's just the way it is nowadays. They just need to get over it.

Labor and Drugs

Ever since the end of my second trimester I've been thinking about labor. The weird thing is that I'm not all that scared. I know the process. My husband and I are taking childbirth classes. I've read up on pain relief. I don't think you can ever be fully prepared for labor, but I think I'm ready.

The thing that has been bothering me are the people that are telling me to get the drugs. I'm very on the fence about that. I am not ruling out an epidural, but I would like very much to try natural childbirth.

I think the idea of an epidural freaks me out more than labor itself. It's the needle (I get really, really anxious around needles) and having drugs pumped into my system I'm not used to. I don't even like taking Tylenol.

Plus, the idea of being numb from the waist down kind of seems like something I won't be able to handle. I tend to be a very restless person, and I don't like the idea of not being able to get up and move around if I want to. I went a little nuts the last time I had a filling done at the dentist's and the numbness in my mouth took almost a whole afternoon to go away. And that was just my mouth! And I really don't think a lot of women know that an epidural makes labor last longer because most women can't push when the time comes when they have had an epidural.

I think I have a very healthy attitude about the whole labor experience. I'm not one of those women who believe it's not going to be all that bad. I know it's going to hurt, and it's going to be the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. I'm not deluding myself. But I know that the pain won't last and that the end product is totally worth it. It's a very positive way of thinking about it, and I think that is only way anyone could get through natural childbirth. Since I'm thinking this way, I think I can handle it. Plus, I'm not a quitter, so that end goal will be definitely be something I will want to strive for. Just like an athlete, you work through the pain to attain your goals.

But as I said, I'm not ruling out an epidural. I think I just want to try to go with the flow. If I can't handle the pain, I'll get the drugs. But if I'm doing well with all the relaxation techniques, I may just go for it without drugs.

Just don't tell me what to do. You and I are different people. Maybe you couldn't handle the pain and needed the drugs. Maybe I will be able to take it without. It is all about attitude.