I don't look forward to birthdays. I've had so many bad ones that I try to make them as low key as possible. That way I won't get too depressed.
Now don't get me wrong, I've had some lovely birthdays in my day. My 5th, 19th, 22nd and 24th come to mind.
I got my first real Barbie on my 5th birthday.
My friend Tara and my mom got a cake and baloons and brought them to guard practice to celebrate my 19th birthday.
On my 22nd, I got really drunk with my friend Tony. We walked home, stopping at Pegasus to use the restroom. A guy at Pegasus bought me a drink when he heard it was my birthday. Then Tony and I walked down the middle of Wood Street for a while until we got to McDonald's and just had to have some french fries. When I got back to school, I talked drunkenly to my roommate Kim for a while before heading upstairs to Amanda's room, where she had set up a little party with a cake and everything.
Joe had a surprise party for my 24th birthday. Friends came. Family came. People from work came. One friend from college, Heidi, came. It was nice.
I'm writing about this now because tomorrow I turn 30. I've asked Joe not to make a big deal over it. I have no qualms over turning 30, but I don't want to invite people to get me cards that tell me I'm old. Because I'm not and I don't want to feel old.
I've already had a few disappointments, though. I tried to get some of my friends to hang out with me while I was still in my 20s. It didn't have to be fancy. I just wanted to hang out. Some didn't answer. Others flat out said no and blamed it on money. (I don't believe you need money to have fun!) A couple of people who did make plans with me canceled on me last minute. They both had good excuses, but it disappointed me all the same.
So I will hang out with my husband tonight -- my last night as a 20-something. I love him, but sometimes a girl wants to hang out with other females. I'll just have to settle with the fact that I will always be disappointed in some way about my birthday. This year is no different.
Labels: birthdays